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| Intro: | C | Dm7 | C | Dm7 | F | F | G | G |
| C | Em | F | G |
| Two margarines on the | go, it's a | nightmare sce | nario |
| C | Em | F | G |
| Two margarines in my | life, | two margarines to | butter my knife |
| Em | F | Em | F |
| Two margarines | but which one, | should I use to | butter my scone? |
| Dm | G |
| It's a dilemma, second to | none |
| C | Em | F | G |
| Two margarines on the | go, it's a | nightmare sce | nario |
| C | Em | F | G |
| Two margarines in my | life, | doesn't seem to | bother my wife |
| Em | F |
| She's the one who ig | nored the first and |
| Em | F |
| Opened the second which be | gan the curse |
| Dm | G |
| Of the | two margarines, is there anything | worse? Ohhhhh |
| Possibly, but I can't think of it at the moment (spoken) |
| C | Em | F | G |
| Two margarines on the | go, it's a | nightmare sce | nario |
| C | Em | F | G |
| Two margarines in my | fridge, it's e | nough to end a | happy marriage |
| Em | F | Em | F |
| Two margarines, | how I long, | for the day when there's | only one |
| Em | F |
| My wife says "You're a | lunatic John" |
| Dm | G | C | Dm | C | Dm | C |
| But | two margarines . | .. oh it's like a bad | dream | | | | | |